A New Favorite Word



April 6 (F)…F*cking Grammar

I’m short on writing time today, but I can’t skip today’s Blogging from A-Z post because grammar is near and dear to my heart, because fuck is my very favorite curse word, and because the two together make for some riotously good Friday fun.  I present you now with the following masterpieces on fucking grammar.

About the word “Fuck”

Shameless stolen from Greg Hankins’ Homepage
Slightly modified by LWSpotts (modifications in italics)

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word “fuck.” It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.

In language, “fuck” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really fucks around), a passive verb (Mary really doesn’t give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).

It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I’m late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she’s also stupid). As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word “fuck”.

Besides its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

  • Aggression: Fuck you!
  • Agreeable: Fucking A.
  • Apathy: Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?
  • Confusion: What the fuck?
  • Deception: Fucking liar.
  • Denial: I didn’t fucking do it.
  • Despair: Fucked again.
  • Difficulty: I don’t understand this fucking business.
  • Directions: Fuck off.
  • Disbelief: How the fuck did you do that?
  • Disgust: Fuck me.
  • Dismay: Oh, fuck it.
  • Displeasure: What the fuck is going on here?
  • Exhilaration:  Fuck yeah!
  • Fraud: I got fucked by the used car dealer.
  • Greetings: How the fuck are you?
  • Incompetence: He’s a fuck up.
  • Incredulity:  UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!
  • Laziness: He’s a fuck off.
  • Lost: Where the fuck are we?
  • Panic: Let’s get the fuck out of here.
  • Perplexity: I know fuck all about it.
  • Pleasure: I fucking couldn’t be happier.
  • Puzzled: How the fuck do I know?
  • Rebellion: I don’t give a fuck what he said!
  • Resignation: Oh, fuck it!
  • Retaliation: Up your fucking ass!
  • Suspicion: Who the fuck are you?
  • Trouble: Well, I guess I’m fucked now.

It can be used as an anatomical description – “He’s a fucking asshole.”
It can be used to tell time – “It’s five fucking thirty.”
It can be used in business – “How did I wind up in this fucking job?”
It can be maternal as in – “Motherfucker.”
It can be political – “Fuck Bill Clinton.”

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
“What the fuck was that?” – Mayor of Hiroshima
“Where the fuck did all these Indians come from?” – General Custer
“Where is all this fucking water coming from?” – Captain of the Titanic
“That’s not a real fucking gun.” – John Lennon
“Who’s gonna fucking find out?” – Richard Nixon
“Heads are going to fucking roll.” – Anne Boleyn
“Let the fucking woman drive.” – Commander of Space Shuttle
“What fucking map?” – “Challenger,” Mark Thatcher
“Any fucking idiot could understand that.” – Albert Einstein
“It does so fucking look like her!” – Picasso
“How the fuck did you work that out?” – Pythagoras
“You want what on the fucking ceiling?” – Michaelangelo
“Fuck a duck.” – Walt Disney
“Why?- Because it’s fucking there!” – Edmund Hilary
“I don’t suppose it’s gonna fucking rain?” – Joan of Arc
“Scattered fucking showers, my ass.” – Noah
“I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head.” – John F. Kennedy

The mind fairly boggles at the many creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say fuck? Use it frequently in your daily speech; it will add to your prestige.

Today, say to some one… FUCK YOU!

To read this and much more, please visit Greg Hankins’ Homepage


And finally…