A couple of days ago, I wrote about all the unexpected things that happen as you navigate through an adoption. They are countless and continuous. Among them, though, are truly extraordinary details that regularly confirm that you are on the right path. We had many of those along the way…too many to remember, but here are some of the biggies:
- Being asked (entreated) to join the Domestic Adoption program: There weren’t enough potential adoptive families to present to birth parents. How is that even possible? We had already decided to pursue adoption through the foster system, but we had not signed any contracts, and the phone call came. How do you say no? You don’t. We didn’t. In my heart of hearts, I wanted a baby. From the beginning, I wanted a baby. I was, however, cowed by outside concerns…concerns that if we didn’t make limitations on some issues, we would encounter problems along the way. We set the limits. In reality, I set the limits, and I was never comfortable with them, so when we started over after our move, I removed them. And here we are. I came to the conclusion long ago that God was working on me, bending & molding me, forcing me to trust him completely, and when I finally did, he gave me exactly what I wanted. A baby.
- Having a Christian social worker involved in our case: She wasn’t ours, but she impacted us tremendously throughout. She serves God faithfully and without reservation, and it shows all the time. Her boldness and sincerity encouraged us and inspired us. Her knack for mothering those who are in need made our birth mom feel safe and loved. We were (ARE) all better for knowing her.
- A volunteer doctor at Crisis Pregnancy: I don’t know if this doctor is a Christian or not, but I do know that he is compassionate, and he believes in life. When he saw our birth mom at Crisis Pregnancy, he offered to treat her himself at his private practice, and he followed through on that. He is a good doctor, cautious and thorough, and he provided excellent care. He treated our birth mom kindly and with respect, as he did all of us. He never withheld information, or acted as though anyone of us was an imposition on his time. He is the type of doctor every pregnant woman should have, but especially those who are tempted to choose another alternative. We were blessed to be under his care.
- Stellar hospital care for both our birth mom and our baby: Without a doubt, our birth mom and our baby received top of the line care in the hospital. The NICU, where our son spent four days while his blood sugar stabilized, was as good as they get. The nurses were (are) phonomenal. Further, they treated everyone involved with great respect. With two exceptions (attitude problems), our birth mom experienced the same stellar care. The nursing staff in the maternity ward could not have provided better care, and they were kind and respectful to all of us. The nurse manager personally cared for our birth mom one day, and I believe her lovely outlook sets the tone on the ward, and all of us benefited from her positive influence.
- Rooming in with our birth mom: When you adopt, the maternity ward tries to provide a room (if one is available) to adoptive families, so they can stay in the hospital with their baby. Such was not the case for us…the maternity ward was full. Our birth mom, though, asked that I stay with her. I was reluctant, because I didn’t want to be a constant (sad) reminder of what she was giving up, but she insisted that she wanted me to stay, so I did. I will never regret doing that. It enabled me to be there with our son much more than if I had been in a hotel, and it gave me the opportunity to spend a lot of time with our birth mom before we all (finally) went home. Things were easy and comfortable, as they had always been. I made sure to give her space, and I spent a lot of time with our son. My husband was able to come every day to see us, and I was there when our birth mom discharged, and was able to say goodbye to her. Those are memories I would not have had I not spent those days with her, and I cherish them.
- The angel working in our county adoption division: This paralegal secured an expedited hearing so we could finalize before our home study expired. She pushed through paperwork at CPS when no one else – our agency included – would not make an effort, and she saved us a continuance (and probably some money as well). She was kind, and she went the extra mile to make sure our hearing took place quickly and without problems. At a time when I have lost faith in virtually anything to do with government, she proved that there are still good people working there, people who genuinely seek to help the public.
There were many other moments like this, but these are the ones I remember the most. Even if they were the only ones, they would be enough. God is extraordinary. He loves in extraordinary measure, and he moves in profound and extraordinary ways to show us.