Our social worker the second time around was great. After our first disappointing experience that included a social worker that didn’t seem to really be in our corner, I was fairly skittish about the second go round, so you can imagine my relief when we met our social worker, and she appeared happy to meet us, enthusiastic about representing us, and desirous of supporting us through everything. She was our advocate, and she did not disappoint us. Even when she had to make the phone call to tell us of our disruption, she was sympathetic and kind, and she encouraged us to stay the course. Those are not easy phone calls to make, and she handled it well.
When the second match went south, she was quick to point out that this was not a situation we wanted. Not only would it have been very difficult dealing with a mentally ill birth mom, but the potential for a hereditary illness was there as well, and bipolar disorder is not something to take lightly. Judging from the birth mom’s psychotic break, it was a potential disaster that we were grateful had been avoided.
And finally, when the right match happened, she was so happy for us. She made sure we knew to call her anytime we had questions or concerns. She kept up (and kept us up) with our paperwork, and she educated us well on what to expect at the hospital, including that she would be our voice and advocate at the hospital for anything to do with insurance or the legal issues surrounding our adoption. We were grateful for that, because hospital insurance representatives and social workers are working for the hospital, and that is almost never going to align with the best interests of the adoptive parents.
We were extraordinarily blessed during our adoption, though, because we had two advocates in our corner…quite unexpectedly.
We met our birth mom’s social worker at our second match, and we connected instantly. She liked us immediately, and the feeling was mutual. We spoke briefly afterwards, and she told us she liked what we had to say. When the match fell through so quickly, it never occurred to us that we would have an advocate in her, but we did…in spades.
She is an extraordinary woman with not only a passion, but a gift for her job. She cares for these birth moms with a mother’s love, she treats them with respect, she is kind, and she is tough when she needs to be. Above all, she exemplifies the love of Christ to them. Her birth moms thrive under her care. Our birth mom thrived. I thrived. And I still thrive, because we are still connected, and she is as much a part of our story as our birth mom.
When I say that God has been present in every single detail of our adoption, this was no exception. She wanted a match as much for us as for the birth mom she represented, and she obviously felt that we would be a good match for our birth mom, because she encouraged our birth mom to choose us. I can’t thank her enough for that, because she was right. We connected with our birth mom immediately, and I felt confident from the beginning that it was right. God was at work there, not only connecting us to this wonderful social worker, through whom we were connected to our birth mom, but also smoothing the way ahead of us and allowing our relationship with our birth mom to feel natural and easy. We saw each other every week, and every week I was reminded of the extraordinary things God does.
This lovely woman, with her heart for these troubled young women, is the best thing our agency has going for them. I hope they know it, because she is worth her weight in gold. God called her to the job she does, she does it extraordinarily well, and she touches the hearts of everyone with whom she works. I am so very grateful for her, for all she did for our birth mom, and for how she blessed us in the process.