B is for Birth Mom #AtoZChallenge

A to Z Letter BDay 2 of the Blogging from A to Z Challenge 2014.  I’m hoping to get a chunk of time to write several posts at once, but since I only (finally) decided to jump in again yesterday morning, I haven’t planned ahead.  So…I’m racing to complete this before the 45 minutes I expect the darling son to sleep expires.

Perhaps the main reason adoption is ever an option is the BIRTH MOM…and in our case, BIRTH PARENTS.  So often the birth father is not in the picture, either by his own choice or because he is not known.  We were fortunate to have two birth parents who agreed that adoption was the best option for their baby.  We would not have our second child if not for that choice, and it very nearly did not happen.

In almost every case, birth parents who are choosing to surrender a child are doing so out of love, and out of a deep desire to give the child a chance at a better life…one that they can’t provide.  Their lives are almost always severely dysfunctional…drug abuse, alcohol abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, prostitution, disease, homelessness, joblessness, anger problems, deadbeat partners.  Our birth mom has dysfunction around her in spades, and yet, she is an intelligent, sweet girl who (almost) managed for (almost) nine months to care for our baby.  More on the “almost” later.  She was diligent about making her doctor appointments, she did what the doctor asked of her, and she stayed in touch with her wonderful, amazing, irreplaceable social worker and, by extension, with me.  It makes the fact that she started out at Planned Parenthood, seeking to abort this precious boy, startling at first…and after that sharp intake of shocked breath, I realized then (and am so grateful for now) that God intervened.

Her on-again, off-again boyfriend wanted her to abort, but he couldn’t come up with the money.  She didn’t have the money, so it didn’t happen.  She wound up at our local Crisis Pregnancy Center, where the doctor who became her OB/GYN for this pregnancy volunteered his time…and who invited her to come to his practice, where he would personally see her through.  They put her in touch with the adoption agency, and more importantly, with her social worker, a Christian woman with a passion for, and a mother’s heart for, these devastated women.  And she selected us.

The boyfriend?  He was initially resistant…initially preferring to kill this baby over giving him a better home than he (they) could provide.  But God worked in his heart too, and he (along with both of their families) agreed that this was the best choice for our baby.  He is all of ours…theirs and ours…and God’s…and without all of us, he wouldn’t be here.  Our baby was given life, and a devastating choice was averted, because God intervened.

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9 thoughts on “B is for Birth Mom #AtoZChallenge

  1. Whoa, God is so great to change hearts. So happy for you and your babies!! Adoption is the BEST solution for an unexpected pregnancy. I worked for a CPC for 12 years – learned so much. If people only understood what abortion really is…hearts might turn. Thank you for sharing!!!

  2. I am an adopted mother of two (age 50 and 47) and I thank the birth parents every day of my life for my wonderful children. I’m enjoying your remarks on the subject.

  3. Have you read this poem? It’s called Motherbridge of Love.

    Once there were two women
    Who hardly knew each other
    One you do not remember
    The other you call mother
    Two different lives shaped to make yours one
    One becoming your guiding star
    The other became your sun
    The first gave you life
    And the second taught you to live in it
    The first gave you a need for love
    And the second was there to give it
    One gave you nationality
    The other gave you a name
    One gave you the seed of talent
    The other gave you an aim
    One gave you emotions
    The other calmed your fears
    One saw your first sweet smile
    The other dried your tears
    The age old questions through the years;
    Heredity or environment –
    which are you the product of ?
    Both my darling – both
    And two different kinds of love!

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