I am stressed these days…in fact, I am a walking illustration of what stress can look like. Every skin issue I struggle with has flared up. My back pain has flared up. I wake up frequently with a headache. My shoulders & neck feel stiff and sore all the time. I grind my teeth at night. My energy level has tanked, and even working out (which I do) does not give me the boost it usually does. Sometimes I can’t sleep, sometimes I sleep to much because I can’t turn off my thoughts and quiet my frustrations & worries. I eat the wrong things…comfort foods that don’t really comfort.
The problem with stress is that, when I least want it to, it leads to writer’s block. So the very thing that has provided relief for me on myriad occasions seems just beyond my fingertips at the moment. It is frustrating, and made more so because of part of what is troubling me is a personal brouhaha over my writing.
I want to sit down and spill it all a the keyboard. I can’t…I can’t find the words right now. Instead, I internalize everything and then talk my husband’s ear off in the middle of the night. To his credit, being the incredible man he is, he understands that those late night rantings are sometimes necessary, and he listens…or suffers through them…until I wind down, or he kicks me out to the couch because he needs to sleep.
This will pass. I know it will, but in the meantime I’m muscling through the anger, anxiety, frustration, and sadness the best that I can. If you pray, please say one for me. God is a miraculous healer, and I could use some heart healing right now.