It was only a matter of time before bodily functions became the topic of (or perhaps the inspiration for) a blog post. Well, to be fair, perhaps the inspiration stemmed from Pinterest (a deadly site for wasting vast amounts of time), a Facebook status update, and a conversation with a friend. Regardless, here it is, for what it’s worth…which is not much in the grand array of personal confessions.
It all started last night (late), when I got to browsing through Pinterest (http://www.pinterest.com/ if you’re interested), and stumbled upon Turd Cookies. Now, when I’ve had less than adequate sleep (3.5 hours in this case), and it gets late, things get very, V-E-R-Y funny. Calvin & Hobbes, for instance. Funny, yes…good for a chuckle for sure, and a belly laugh on occasion. Late at night when I’m overtired…tears streaming down my face as I giggle uncontrollably. Turd cookies…
- …make me giggle. (http://www.divinedinnerparty.com/gross-recipes-for-halloween.html/) I confess it, and it’s not just turd cookies. It’s the word “turd” in general. The more I read it, think it, say it, the more it makes me laugh. Riotously. Ridiculously. Uncontrollably. With tears. And snorting.
- In our house, bodily functions are funny. Hilarious, in fact. I live with a husband, a 6yo son, a dog and a cat. That’s a veritable cornucopia of bodily functions, and they become exceedingly humorous the more they happen. What 6y0 boy doesn’t giggle when he farts or burps, which in turn makes his momma giggle because he has amused himself!? If you ask him if he tooted, he’ll proudly tell you “Yeah!” In fact, he has informed me on more than one occasion that he has “a party in his butt.” Where does he come up with this stuff??
- I admit it, with the caveat that I get this honestly. When someone gets hurt (not seriously), through their own clumsiness or stupidity, I get struck so funny I can’t stop laughing. Have you ever watched America’s Funniest Videos when they’re running clips of people falling? Or wrecking? Or whacking their heads? By the time it’s all over, I am so dissolved in giggles I can hardly breathe. Same for when someone is telling of some accident (or other unfortunate incident) they have had. I get a mental image in my head that cracks me up, and then it’s all over. My family is the same way. I promise that I’m not hard-hearted or callous…or inclined to stand there and watch something happen in front of me while I laugh, but I will confess that I might be choking back some giggles while I help you (but only if you’re not really hurt).
- Let me share an example of the above: When my husband and I were dating, and in fact, on the first double date we had with one of my closest friends and her husband, we went to see The Emperor’s Club at a theater in Winter Park, FL, followed with dessert and coffee at The Cheesecake Factory. Armed with popcorn & drinks, we head into the theater, where my not-yet-boyfriend stopped to spit out his gum in the trashcan. The next thing I heard…WHACK! It was dark in the theater, and the trashcan was set back in a alcove, but he did not see that the alcove was not very tall, and as he bent forward to spit out his gum, he whacked his forehead on the wall above. My friends had gone on ahead, so they did not realize what had happened. I didn’t realize how hard he hit, but when we sat down (and he said his head hurt), I reached up to feel his forehead…and discovered a huge goose egg. I truly felt bad for him…I’m sure it hurt terribly. Fast forward to the restaurant afterwards, where we saw not only the goose egg, but the bloody scratch as well. Damn! And my friends then telling us that they were wondering what was taking so long…because we were late for the movie…and why weren’t we right behind them…seats were limited, for heaven’s sake…what in the world were we doing?? We laughed and laughed. I still laugh…it was that funny (to me). Not so much for my hubby, I guess. But there you have it.
- Http://www.PeopleofWalmart.com/ is hilarious. What’s more hilarious is seeing them in real life. It has happened for me. Has it happened for you? My most memorable experience was this one time, at Walmart, when I encountered the (male) Walmart employee dressed as a female…in full makeup…on the clock!
- I have gotten the giggles in church to the point that I am gasping for air, trying my best to get under control, weeping with laughter and sweating with the effort of trying to stop. My worst experience with this was as a teen…my father was the preacher (and this was during his sermon), and the lady sitting behind us blew her nose so loud it honked. My brother & I were both struck funny by this, and we were heaving with silent laughter to the point that the pew was rocking. What is the worst thing that can happen at this point? Well, two things: the woman honked her nose again, and my mother poked me in the ribs to stop laughing. Really??!! That just made it worse…and eventually, my mother (bless her heart) got the giggles as well. She apologized to the woman after the service, but it was pointless because the woman had never even noticed.
Now of course, with all of these confessions about what strikes me funny, you’d think I was a sucker for a funny book…like David Sadaris, for instance, or Laurie Notaro. Nope. Not. I’ve tried them, and there are moments of hilarity that make me laugh out loud, but mostly I’m unmoved. Perhaps I have not been in the right frame of mind when I tried these authors. Perhaps I’ll try them again one day and find them truly hilarious. But chances are, you’ll find me laughing more (especially in the wee hours of the morning) reading Calvin & Hobbes or The Far Side, or more likely than not, a book about turds.